Most people who set resolutions in January are now wondering why is it so hard to keep them. The realisation that it’s not New Year, new you, but New Year, same old you just adds to the disappointment and frustration.
Where we go wrong
Every year we resolve to be different, but change is hard. As humans we are habit forming creatures. Over the years we’ve forged habits and lifestyles that are difficult to shake. We have behavioural routines that form the rhythm of our days. We also have habits of how we think about ourselves, our capabilities and what’s possible for us. For change to be sustainable, we have to adjust habits at both a behavioural and self-identity level.
Challenge existing beliefs
If we hold beliefs such as “diets don’t work for me,” or “I’ll never keep the weight off,” then we’ve already set ourselves up for failure. Limiting beliefs like these have to be challenged and replaced, otherwise we will behave (usually unconsciously) in ways that prove they are true. We will always conform to the expectations we have of ourselves. Put simply, your habitual thoughts program your actions.
Unrealistic expectations
Another reason we ‘break’ resolutions is that we seek perfection not progress. A more practical approach is to make feasible adjustments to your existing routines. This means planning ahead. For example, buying more fruit and veg when you’re in the supermarket and planning meals in advance. You might visit a farmer’s market, or get a vegetable box delivered. These are practical steps that are consistent with forging new habits.
Measure your progress
Whatever your goal, it makes sense to measure your progress. When I’m serious about boosting my fitness, I use a spreadsheet to track meals, daily steps and the positive choices I’ve made. It makes me feel like I’m in charge and gives me a sense of achievement. I’m placing emphasis on the process not just the desired outcome.
Don’t do it alone
I’ve found that having someone who has your best interests at heart to be your cheerleader and accountability buddy makes a huge difference. You don’t feel alone and they are a source of encouragement when we need it most.
So when it comes to resolutions, it’s not a question of willpower or motivation. It’s about being practical and planning ahead. Set yourself up for success by focusing on what and who surrounds you. Look to tweak existing routines rather than reinventing the wheel.
If you’re standing over the wreckage of another year’s resolutions here’s a few questions to help you reignite that precious enthusiasm that you had just a few short weeks ago.
- What would be a small but meaningful win or step forward?
- What little adjustment could make a big difference?
- Who could be a support and source of encouragement for you?
And as regards those health-related resolutions, choose movement over motivation, persistence over pressure and instead of giving up, honour your intentions with self-compassion and flexibility.
If you found this article useful, you might enjoy listening to my podcast episode ‘Intention, Attention, No Tension’ that looks at the topic of New Year Resolutions in more detail. It also contains plenty of practical tips if you are seeking to make changes in your life.
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